I feel kind of guilty writing this post as it finds me laid back and generally at one with the world whilst I know there are many fellow IBDers who are really suffering at the moment. You only have to dip into the Crohn's Community on SoMe to read some sad , harrowing tales.
I've come to terms with this guilt by telling myself that my current situation may help others realise that there will be times when life returns to relative normality. As I approach the fifth anniversary of having an ileostomy my memories of that event are starting to fade which is why.........
Have I mentioned before that I am in the process of writing a book? It will explain the "journey" from diagnosis, in the dim and distant past, to my current state. It has a target readership of, er, one. Obviously I hope it ends up with a few more and proves of help/interest to other sufferers or even medical professionals who want to understand the patient experience from the other end of the endoscope but having said that, I am writing it primarily for.... myself. The reasons?
1) A new challenge; something to keep the brain functioning; a chance to be creative. I want to see if I am capable of producing something that is half readable?
2) To achieve a sort of “closure” up to this point, on the basis that once I have everything documented I can put the eBook on a virtual eShelf and leave it there
The book is nearing completion. As part of the process I have been re-reading the posts on this blog. Those covering the period from August 2010 were written as they happened. This re-visit has thrown up a few gaps in my account or need further examination. One passage in particular piqued my interest. It was a comment made by one of the team of surgeons who carried out my ileostomy almost 5 years ago. I saw him at the local hospital a few weeks after the op and he remarked on how well I looked considering “what they had done to me”. Sounded sinister. He went on to describe the operation as a “classic” and one of the “most complex they had ever carried out”. In a game of operation top trumps I’m sure this would score quite highly although the whole thing only took four and a half hours which is relatively quick compared to others I have read about. Maybe the fact it was done using open surgery, as opposed to keyhole, sped things up.
But what exactly had they “done to me”? I emailed the surgeon a few weeks ago to see if he kept records of each operation. He replied that I would need to get access to my patient file from St.Thomas’ and find the Operation Note. As he no longer worked there hospital he had no access to their system but he kindly offered to “translate” the document should I get hold of it.
Up until recently I hadn't bothered obtaining copies of my St.Thomas’ notes as I had been studiously filing all follow-up letters as I received them and writing up accounts of appointments/procedures for this blog. However it struck me that, for completeness, I should try and get hold of the notes as they may add some detail to the narrative. I filled in a request form and took it, together with the £20 fee and proof of ID, to the Information Governance Department at St.Thomas’. I requested the complete file, with the exception of follow-up letters, and for any x-rays or scans that were available. The hospital's target was 40 days to produce the requested information but it only took 30 days before it was ready for collection. The packet contained four CDs.
I was eager to find out exactly what was on them. Three discs contained imaging and x-ray files in a format I was unfamiliar with, DICOM. I found a software package on the web, OsiriX, that would open the files and, for non-commercial use, the Lite version could be downloaded free. The software translates the scans into 3D images. Fascinating, almost artistic. Like something out of a Hieronymus Bosch painting. Did I understand what I was looking at? To be honest, no, and I am still trying to find the optimum software settings that will make things clearer.
On the final disc was one large pdf file made up of scans of all my notes but in no particular order. 730 pages covered just under 5 years of treatment. On closer inspection there were many blank pages, mainly the back pages to reports, but even with these deleted the page count was around 650. It took a couple of evenings work to get them into some semblance of order.
I eventually found the Operation Note from October 2010 and decided to take the surgeon up on his offer to "translate" it. I hope he doesn't regret it. I am awaiting his response so maybe he has thought better of it.
The other pages that immediately grabbed my interest were the Nurses' notes and observations from my two in-patient stays. It was interesting to compare the nurses' accounts with my diary entries for each day.The process of revising my original posts is taking a while. As the nights draw in it should focus the mind better.
Haematology II Guy's Hospital - 25th August 2015
As part of my "closure" I had a routine, six monthly Haematology appointment, or Harmatology as my spell check insists. For the first time I struggled to come up with any questions to ask. I eventually managed the following :
- Latest platelet count? Just out of curiosity as I knew it would be well outside the normal range
- Do we need to revisit the Warfarin decision at some point in the future?
- Do I need to continue with iron tablets?
- Should I be prescribed more vitamin D capsules?
On the basis of the above we agreed that appointments could now be yearly and that suits me fine.
Time to think about what's on the horizon. Following the pattern of the last couple of years there will be the yearly upper GI endoscopy in late October with the possibility of further procedures if they find I need variceal banding. The lead time for booking an endoscopy is six weeks. If the system is working correctly then the appointment should automtically get booked but I never leave it to chance and normally give Endoscopy Appointments a ring. I half minded to leave it this time and see what happens.
Then there's the six monthly gastro appointment in early November for which I need to make sure I've got the results of a calprotectin test back....and, depending upon the result, potentially a two yearly endoscopy to see if I have managed to remain in clinical remission and to have a look at my anastomosis.
...but hold on. I've just realised I had a colonoscopy in February this year. Have I really managed to put Crohn's so far to the back of my mind that I have forgotten havng a camera stuck where the sun don't shine? Maybe it's because I was given a larger dose of sedative than usual and was out cold for the procedure.